Gremlins (1984) Movie Review
Gremlins (1984)
I finally got around to watching this movie last night. It’s really good, but a little disgusting. There are some violent parts, and some shockingly gross scenes. There are definitely some “oh no!” moments. I am about to explain why this is a scary movie (to me, at least). In the end scene, Mr. Wing (Keye Luke) comes back to Billy’s (Zach Galligan) house to take back the troublesome mogwai. He explains to the father (Hoyt Axton) that he treated the gremlins poorly, like man has treated all of nature. I think this movie has deeper meanings about treating nature right, or this kind of death and destruction could happen. The idea that one day, when we are busy having fun and polluting the earth, it strikes back at us, causing us massive pain. The moral is that humans just can’t handle treating nature kindly, and we shouldn’t think we could handle something like a mogwai. Plus, the gremlins are chillingly intelligent. The part where they cut the power plug told us that they knew what would happen if they ate after midnight, and when Billy looks up at his mother and says, “Mom... what’s going on here?” it's a little scary.
The gremlins are delightfully evil and wicked, especially when they go on a murderous rampage throughout the small town. This movie is not the kind of scary where you sleep with the lights on. This is not even the kind of scary where you are afraid to open your closet or look under your bed. This is that strange kind of creepy where you are afraid to open your refrigerator or toilet for a couple of days. That sounds weird, I know. But it’s not nightmare-inducing scary. It’s just a little creepy, that’s all. Plus, the YMCA scene is kind of weird. Stripe, the evil leader of the gremlins, jumps into the gym’s pool. Tons of green flashing lights and eerie bubbles ensue.
But overall, it’s not too bad. I’d say 10 and up. Gizmo, the friendly mogwai, is actually cute sometimes. It’s kind of cool when he sings. It’s too bad the other gremlins sing. They sound terrible, especially when they’re drunk. The gremlins, as we discover, are as smart as the humans, if not more. They know how to play poker (no joke), shoot guns, drive trucks, and know about electronics. With that knowledge it’s no wonder that they wreaked this much havoc.
In case you don’t know about the weird wonder of Gremlins, I’ll lay it out for you. A failed inventor is led into an odd Chinatown shop by an Asian kid. In the shop, the inventor buys a small, cute creature called a mogwai. The boy informs him that there are three rules to owning a mogwai: 1.) Keep him away from bright light, 2.) Don’t get him wet, and most importantly- 3.) Don’t feed him after midnight. Each rule gets worse and worse. Rule #1 is good to follow, but all light does to him is scare him. Rule #2 is much better to follow. If he gets wet, he multiplies, which leads to a higher risk of breaking rule #3. When a mogwai eats after midnight, he turns into a vicious monster that has no mercy for human life. The gremlins proceed to kill several people in the town, on Christmas. Billy must team up with Gizmo and his friend Kate (Phoebe Cates) to put a stop to the gremlins’ mayhem. Why the gremlins turn evil when they eat after midnight is never really explained, and the rule is a little confusing. When is it OK for the gremlins to eat again in the morning? Wouldn’t that still be after midnight? This is all messed up.
But whatever. It’s fine, sure. And it never explains why the old Chinatown dude has the mogwai in the first place. For a new Gremlins movie, two ideas sound good to me. The first one is that Murray dude’s military backstory with the gremlins or whatever. The second is the backstory of how the Chinatown man knew not to mess with the gremlins and his backstory with them. Because that is definitely not the first time they’ve been let loose and attacked people like that. Some of the deaths were just weird and brutal. Here are the top 7 most brutal deaths in the movie, being either gremlin or human.
7. Mailbox trap- An old man is putting a letter in a mailbox when a gremlin inside attacks him. Plain and simple.
6. Snickers bar- When Billy takes a mogwai to school for his science teacher (Glynn Turman) to examine, the gremlin gets loose in the classroom. The teacher tries to coax it out from under his desk with a Snickers bar, and it eats the snickers bar. Then it starts to eat the teacher’s hand.
5. Gremlin melt- In the final battle, Billy and the evilest gremlin, Stripe, are dueling it out when Gizmo comes along riding a pink toy car (how, may I ask?) and lets loose a bunch of sunlight onto Stripe. Stripe’s skin and body melt.
4. Blender time- While gremlins are in Billy’s kitchen, his mom sees one eating icing out of a blender. She reaches out and blends him up. His blood splatters everywhere.
3. Chair lift- Old crabby Ms. Beagle is messing around with her cats when gremlins show up at her door howling Christmas carols. She freaks out, tries to get away from them, and gets in her chair lift. The gremlins mess up the lift and she gets launched out of her window and falls a couple of stories onto the icy ground below.
2. Snow plow- This is when gremlins take control of a big snow plow and drive into a couple’s home. The gremlins back the couple into a wall and snow plow them. Screams are heard.
1. Microwaved gremlin- This is easily the weirdest, strangest death here. When gremlins are sabotaging the family kitchen, Billy’s mom (Frances Lee McCain) sticks one of them in the microwave and turns up the heat. The gremlin explodes in green globs.
Man. The gremlins do not have much mercy for anyone. Let’s look at our safety chart, shall we?
Safety Chart:
Violence: 7/10- Gremlins violently kill people, and people violently kill gremlins. A dog is seen being choked with Christmas lights, but he is alright in the end. Gremlins get microwaved, explode, stabbed, shot at with slingshots, and beat up/killed in various ways. Mass damage to houses. Gremlins attack Billy’s mom in a Christmas tree, and her bandages are shown later, but she’s fine overall. Kate tells a story of her dad dying in a chimney, which is a little weird. Billy smashes a TV screen with a baseball bat. An entire movie theater explodes.
Language: 5/10- Some uses of d*mn, other curses.
Drinking/Smoking: Gremlins actually do most of the smoking and drinking. They get excessively drunk and smoke a lot, too. A man is shown bumbling around, drunk. Gremlins gamble, too.
Gremlins might sound very violent, but it’s not too bad. It is definitely one of those 80’s classics. I strongly advise you see this movie. It’s very good and even funny at some parts. Gremlins is well acted and original. I would give it a 90% and an A as a grade.
