The Thing (1982) Movie Review
The Thing (1982) Movie Review
This movie is unlike Jaws in the fact that when you finally see the monster, you are not in awe. Most likely, the first thing that will come to your mind when you see “the thing” is “man, that is ugly.” The scenes where nothing is really happening and it’s mostly just paranoid conversation among the men are probably the most entertaining scenes. After one of those scenes, there is usually a big bloody explosion of a flamethrower battle. Then it’s back to superstition.
I have to say, John Carpenter directed the stoop (a word I use that basically means ‘heck’) out of this movie. Some of the camerawork and lighting and shots in The Thing are definitely mind-blowing. Also, it’s one of those movies that gets scarier and scarier the more you think about it. If you see this movie, think nothing about it while you see it, then just go on to do something else afterward, then you’ll probably just regard it as an OK movie and nothing extraordinary. But if you really consider the movie and the ending and everything, then it gets a lot darker and more awesome.
I read Roger Ebert’s review of The Thing a little while ago, and I really have to disagree with the part when he says the characters are not good. Even though, yes, a couple of them are cliche, I really enjoyed almost everyone. And Wilford Brimley? I didn’t even recognize him. Here are the characters: MacReady (Kurt Russell), the heroic one; Childs (Keith David), the tough African-American; Blair (Wilford Brimley), the old dude; Clark (Richard Masur), the animal fanatic; Palmer (David Clennon), the drunk; Nauls (T.K. Carter), the youngster; Garry (Donald Moffat), the random white man; and a few other people whose sole purpose is just to get got by “the thing.”
The story resembles that of Alien, Aliens, and Predator, but isn’t as macho as the second two, and is more slick than Alien. In the very first scene, we see a helicopter flying over the arctic, shooting at a dog running below it. We have no idea why this is happening. Then we see the helicopter land at an American research outpost. The pilot gets out and tries to shoot the dog and some of the people who work at the outpost, but is then shot dead by Garry. MacReady and the others find out that the helicopter was coming from over at the Norwegian research outpost, and a few of them go to check it out there. At the Norwegian outpost, they find several mutilated bodies. They take the bodies back to the base and then the horror starts. Here’s a warning: don’t see The Thing if you are a really avid dog lover. Literally zero out of maybe five or six dogs survive in this movie. Also do not see this movie if you are a really avid human lover.
The special effects are really outdated and at one point I actually laughed at how bad they looked, but surprisingly, the makeup is great. All of the blood and intestines and stuff looks pretty real, so they did a good job on that. If you are debating whether or not to see The Thing because you think it will be scary, I was shocked to find out that I wasn’t that scared by it. And I’m twelve years old (I was twelve then, I’m editing and posting this review now at 13). When I sat down to watch it, I was nervous that I would have to turn it off because I would be so scared. But besides a couple of intense jump scares, it really isn’t that frightening. If you’re scared easily, then yeah, it might be too much for you. But I consider myself a person who is scared easily, and I didn’t have much a problem, so…anyways.
The Thing also has some good humorous moments as well. In one scene, MacReady is testing everyone’s blood with fire to see if it will react or not: no reaction, human; yes reaction, alien. He ties up three of the crew members to a couch next to each other and tests their blood. One of the crew members is a “thing,” and his entire body reacts to the fire, and he starts spurting blood and metamorphosing into an alien and shrieking and stuff, and the other two guys are just screaming and screaming because they are right next to this alien and they can’t get away. So I thought that part was funny (it's funnier in the movie, trust me). So this is definitely a must-see science-fiction/horror movie. If you haven’t seen it, then it really needs to find its way onto your watchlist. It’s not necessarily underrated, because it already does get a lot of praise, but that doesn’t mean it’s not very good.
Safety Chart:
Violence: 9/10- Brutal violence throughout. People and dogs are decapitated, mutilated, mangled, shot, burned, and injured. Bloody bullet holes can be seen in people’s heads. Intestines can also be seen coming out of people’s bodies. There is also intense medical violence during an autopsy, including removal of organs from a body. A man partly decapitates a dog with an axe. Very bloody alien attacks. A man stick his fingers in someone’s face and stretches the skin. An alien chest mouth (yes, you heard me) bites a man’s arms off. Explosions. There are also some jump scares and potentially horrifying imagery.
Language: 6.5/10- Less than you might think.
Drinking/Smoking- 7/10- One character is almost always drunk and can be seen drinking. References to drinking and getting drunk. While I was watching it, I actually said, “it seems like all these guys do is drink and smoke.”
Don’t show this movie to really little kids, but if you are eleven or over, then you can might be able to handle The Thing. If you think you might be able to see it, definitely do. It lives up to the hype. It’s a great horror movie for Halloween time, or any time, for that matter. The storytelling and cinematography and characters are all so great. I’m giving The Thing an A+. If you’re saying, “Henry, what about the bad special effects? Wouldn’t that take the grade down to an A?” then I have an answer for you. The trash effects almost make the movie better in some ways. It makes it a lot cozier (if you know what I mean), which is probably what the alien felt inside a human body.
